10 Effed-Up Personal Ads

Personal Advertisements.... tale as old as newsprint. We find them on Craigslist, local newspapers, and dating sites.

Some are intriguing, some are hilarious, then there's some that are just plain weird.

Every once in awhile, I get bored enough to look through some ads for a good laugh (and they make me feel normal).

They can get disturbing and inappropriate, so be sure to wave your cursor over this cute puppy cartoon for a foolproof way to prove you're 18, because don't say I didn't warn you.

Urination Dream

I walked in the restroom at the library today, and you were at the urinal. Our eyes met for a split second and there seemed to be a spark. I'm generally straight, but you looked really hot. I wanted to come over and checkout each others c*&^, but I was shy. I tried to find you later, but I couldn't see you. I know there's a big age difference between us, but it doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you.

Before Dinner Treat

Single white 47-year-old guy with pink man boobs, small d&^%, looking for a strong tough woman for regular meetings. No need to ever treat me kind and I will answer to any name you want to give me. Make me your personal bitch. NOT a paying offer, but I'll make dinner

My Hose Your Hose

Today, I'm wearing my beige mist lace top pantyhose under my slacks while I run errands. It would be great to meet other guys who like to wear nylons or pantyhose. We can meet at your place for lunch or coffee if you'd like. Please put "your pantyhose" in the subject line of your response.

God, Is That You?

Christian woman looking for a Christian man who is sympathetic with women who hear voices

Farm Party

Looking for someone who has a farm for some farm fun. I'm fit and attractive and looking for other fit and attractive guys to do weird shit with.

Now This is Just Getting Picky

Single male seeks double-jointed supermodel who owns a brewery and grows her own pot. Access to free concerts a plus, as is having an open minded twin sister

I (Don't) Know Where You Live

I was you at Tiki Bobs. You grabbed my butt and I told you if you did it again, that I would kill you. You did it again, and now I need your address

A For Honesty Please only respond if you're serious about getting laid, because I don't have time to do email monologues with you or endless chatting on a computer.

So Tempting

Morbidly overweight, seriously competitive gamer with a creative genius online persona, seeking a kinky sex vixen for impossible fantasy role play. Some willingness to assist with basic bodily functions required.

Marty McFly

Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is NOT A JOKE. you'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed

#truestories #funny #personalads #weird #freaky