Super Fail Stories

Life doesn't always go your way. You can blame it on bad luck or possibly your epic stupidity. 

However life is treating you today, I'm here to cheer you up by helping you laugh at other's epic stupidity 

BECAUSE

Run from Police and Get Recycled

A 36-year-old man who was fleeing from police might regret hiding in a commercial recycling bin. He suffered a serious head injury when he was dumped from the bin with the recyclables into the hopper of a recycling truck. The driver heard yelling and stopped the vehicle to find the guy crawling out of the hopper. An officer saw a disturbance in the parking lot that had the recycling bin and approached the situation. As the officer approached, he climbed a fence and ran into a residential neighborhood. Officers surrounded the area, found the guy, who they found out was wanted for a felony parole violation 

Mugger Competition

A Mexico City bus was making its way down a four-lane highway when two teenagers sitting in the back brandished a gun and a knife, and began snatching cell phones and wallets from passengers. Unknown to them, as they began their mugging, an armed 34-year-old man sitting in the front began his own mugging, making his way towards the back of the bus. The three men ran into each other in the middle of the narrow aisle. The two men carrying guns starting firing at each other....I'm guessing to see who wins the mugging prize

Shark Chase

Zachary Kingsbury, 20, was pulled over for a traffic stop in North Carolina. He tried to escape when officers spotted illegal contraband inside the vehicle and asked him to exit the car. Zachary jumped into the ocean and began swimming away, leading to an hours-long standoff. Within an hour, Kingsbury was 4,000 feet from the shore. It turned into a rescue mission when they found he was unknowingly swimming just feet away from a hungry shark

Backfired Burglary

A Florida man was arrested on drug and weapon charges after he reported a burglary at his home. Deputies were called to Anthony Black's home about a burglary in progress. Anthony claimed that he saw a white male in his backyard, running and jumping over a fence away from his house. Deputies went to the back of the home and saw a closed door with a broken window. They were looking to see whether any burglars were still inside, but found two large, plastic bags of marijuana instead. A search warrant was obtained and they found more marijuana inside the master bedroom, master bathroom, and a spare bedroom

Trapped with Poo

A woman who threw her poo out of her date's bathroom window because it "would not flush" had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it. The amateur gymnast was on a first date when she "panicked" and threw the feces out of the window. It didn't land in the garden, but became wedged between two non-opening windows. After climbing in head first after it, she became wedged. Her date had to call the fire service for help. I'm not sure if they ever had a second date. 

Won't Be Using That Glass Ever Again

I see a lot of stories about people showing up at the E.R. after they jam weird stuff in their No-Go Hole, but this guy wins some sort of prize. You know it's bad when doctors can't get it back out! A married guy in his early 30's showed up at a hospital in Hong Kong after he got a drinking glass stuck up there. It was about three inches in diameter and three inches tall....and he waited TWO DAYS before he finally went to the hospital for help. He wouldn't tell them how it got there, but it's not really the kind of thing that happens by accident. The doctors couldn't get it to dislodge and had to perform surgery. 

Hooked On For The Ride

If you have good work ethic and see things through, that's usually a recipe for success, but not always. A guy near Seattle tried to carjack someone over the weekend, but when he tried to get in their car, the driver floored it and took off. Instead of giving up or trying another car, he held onto their door handle and refused to let go while they dragged his dumb ass down the street. He held on for awhile, not just a few seconds, and his pants ended up down around his ankles. Then, the driver stopped so he could let go, but he tried to open the door again! They hit the gas again and he STILL kept hanging on. Cops eventually arrested him for carjacking and took him to a hospital. No word on his injuries, but it's probably a safe assumption that he had some serious road rash

Stinky Rain

This is the worst case of "making it rain" I've ever heard. Florida police pulled over a 26-year-old guy named Pattreaon Stokes for speeding. The cops spotted meth, cocaine, and heroin in the car so they took him to jail. As they were about to strip search him, they noticed $20 bills falling from his butt. So, some brave officer took a closer look, and found that Pattreon had jammed $1,090 into his rectum to try and hide it. He's facing a ton of charges, from drug possession with intent to sell to smuggling contraband into jail

Curiosity Killed The Junk

An 11-year-old boy from China, named only as Pi Pi, had to have surgery after he inserted 26 magnets into his penis...because he was "curious". He was taken to a hospital where doctors needed to deal with swelling after he put the toys known as "Buckyballs" made of a string of magnets into his urethra. The medic said the Buckyballs caused a blockage that took up about three-fifths of space in Pi Pi's urethra tube, which helped explain the swelling and bleeding. All 26 balls, which had become stuck to each other because of the

magnetism, were removed in surgery. Doctor Wang (for real the doctor's name, can't make this shit up) said: "around 10 of the balls were inside his bladder". The boy had to be kept home from school for half a month to recover. 

The Worst Time to Rob

A 21-year-old guy named Joseph McInnis and a 22-year-old guy named Tyree McCoy busted into a bar in Maryland and demanded all the cash in the register. There was just one problem: The bar was PACKED with cops who were there for a retirement party. So a few of the cops chased down the guys and arrested them right outside the bar. The owner of the bar said he's surprised they even tried to hit the place.... since it's right across the street from the police station

Furry Mistake

When you're about to rob a place, isn't the goal NOT to draw attention to yourself? Three friends stole $561 worth of stuff from a Pennsylvania Walmart. All three of them wore elaborate costumes as disguises:

18-year-old Lamar Wall dressed up as a bull

20-year-old D'Angelo Manns was a werewolf

18-year-old Jahnsahn Dickson dressed up as a gorilla

When the cops got to the sotre, they didn't have any trouble tracking down the guys in their costumes, and all three of them were arrested for retail theft and criminal conspiracy. 

Hangin' With Ben Franklin

Two men climbed one of the Ben Franklin Bridge's 382-foot towers to spray paint it with graffiti when they got stuck around 1:00 in the morning. They ended up getting so stuck that officers had to use safety harnesses and rescue them. 

Now Isn't That Ironic

A drunk driver was airlifted to a trauma center after flipping his vehicle on a California highway. The 57-year-old driver ran over a sign reading "report drunk drivers - call 9-1-1" during the crash. 

Hitch Hike Gone Wrong

Police had been looking for 30-year-old Jansen Simon since he'd been evading capture for 4 years. He struck another man in the head with a hammer during a bar fight in Louisiana in August 2013. Well, he was finally arrested after he flagged down an off-duty deputy for a ride. The officer verified Simon's identity and promptly arrested him. We're not sure if he knew it was a deputy, although it was a fully marked patrol car, it was also 1:30 in the morning. 

That's Not How This Works

I know it feels like you couldn't survive without your phone, and if you can't find it for more than 5 minutes you're basically on the verge of a nervous breakdown...but THIS is a little extreme....A 23-year-old guy in Florida named Eric Ross called 911 to report a shooting inside a house in Daytona Beach. A bunch of cops responded and showed up with their guns drawn. Once they got there, Ross told them he made it up...because his phone was in the house and he couldn't get inside to get it. It turned out he called 911 earlier that day and said the person who lived there might have it. When the cops didn't show up, he decided to make up the story about a shooting. He was arrested for misusing 911. It turns out that he tried to break into the house before he called 911 so he's also facing burglary charges. 

Fail News Credit: The Rizzuto Show morning radio

http://www.1057thepoint.com/personalities/rizzuto-show

#fail #funny #truestories #dumb