16 Things To Do With Your Bacon
- April Steele
- Oct 8, 2017
- 2 min read
Bacon is something that almost everyone loves.
Internet companies are making a killing off weird products like bacon-flavored butt lube and bacon-flavored toothpaste
(probably purchased by the same person)

But why spend money on useless products when you can do fun
stuff with the bacon you already have at home!?
You can make bacon shoes. Good grip on carpet
but greasy enough to slide on tile
Tie some to the ceiling fan for a do-it-yourself air freshener
and dog toy in one
Bacon penis wrap
The rest of the idea is up to you
Make a new underwear collection.
Every time you fart, you get a whiff of breakfast
Make a backpack out of it and go hiking in the woods. Any bears who find you will eat your bag first and give you time to get away

Make a paddle out of bacon and use it in your fishing boat.
Brings the fish right to you (in theory)
Use a slice as a band-aid. When your wound heals,
you can eat the bandage..bam, no trash
Wrap it around your wrist like a watch. You can randomly "check the time" and announce that it's "bacon-thirty" every half an hour
Crumble it up and spray paint it different colors, you've got yummy confetti
Make a portrait of Kevin Bacon out of bacon

Hide some in the mail carrier's truck and watch how many
neighborhood dogs follow him/her
Glue some to the back of your shirt and go zip-lining. It will be
like the bacon makes you fly
Make a to-do list for yourself, with the only chore being
"eat bacon" over and over
Make a tower of bacon and play a tasty Jenga game
Glue a slice to your lip like a mustache.
You'll look great and smell meat candy all day long
Sit down at the computer on a Sunday afternoon and write an entire page
on nothing but bacon, and wish you had some bacon

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