Weird Shit About Your Body

Human beings are weird in more than one aspect. From our brains to our butt holes, the human body can do

some amazing, yet weird shit.

Some we're aware of, others we are not. Some we wish we had never learned about in the first place, because now that sense of awareness is creepy and you can't stop thinking about it.

It's time for some education folks, and I hope it weirds you out... because I feel that's my job

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You Can Gain Super Powers

99% of the time, your body is hiding super powers from you. There have been legends of women lifting cars off children and people pushing boulders off of themselves. These aren't just legends, though. This shit really happens! Our survival modes adapt to serious situations and react accordingly.

Why can't we have "Hulk" power all of the time? As epic as that would be, our brains, muscles, and tendons aren't built to sustain such abuse.

I wouldn't be surprised if the future holds the technology to change that soon enough.

There is a Surprising Amount of Bacteria In Your Mouth

There is more bacteria living in your face hole than there are humans on earth. I bet you can taste it now, huh? If it helps, some of the little bacteria guys are actually good because they help eat some of the sugary crap you keep shoving in there. There are also species floating around on your gums that contribute to gum disease. Which ones are good!? Which ones are bad!? Who knows, just brush your damn teeth

Your Eyelashes Are An Ecosystem For Mites

Do you have a lot of those annoying eye twitches that seem to happen for no reason? There might actually be a reason, unfortunately. These tiny muscle spasms occur the most in people who walk around with eyelash mites. At least 1/2 of the world's population have these little fuckers crawling around next to their eyes, but they are impossible to see without a microscope (so you can stop trying to see them now, you look like you're having a face seizure). They survive by eating skin cells and oils off your eyelashes and can sometimes make your eyes pretty itchy. You can try to get rid of them with some tea tree oil treatments so they will stop taking tiny shits next to your eyeballs, but the treatments haven't been scientifically proven to work. Might as well just make friends and start naming them.

Sneeze Myth Debunked

People seem to get kind of butt-hurt when I refuse to say "bless you" when they sneeze. I find it to be one of those stupid things we call 'polite' but yet no one can explain why it's so polite. The entire reasoning behind the "bless you" movement is the not-so-fact that our hearts stop when we sneeze. WRONG. Our heart rates might slow when we sneeze but just a tad, and that is just due to the deep breaths we take before we let our snot fly at anywhere at a speed of 30 - 100 mph.

Your Brain is Like Butter

Not just that moronic neighbor of yours, but you too. We seem to think that our brains are kind of like mushy clay or even hamburger meat. Nope... hamburger meat is probably more firm. The truth of the matter is, our brains are super squishy like half-melted stick butter. So once a zombie bites into it, the brain starts to lose it's shape pretty quickly.

Only 10% of Your Cells are Actually Yours

1 in every 10 cells in your own body are not human at all. So what are they then? Reminiscence of all of your farm animal lovers. No, kidding. For real though, they are the cells of 90 trillion microbes that live all over and inside of you! Bacteria, viruses, and micro-organisms share your body with you. As gross as it sounds, the majority of them play a role in keeping you healthy. However, I think they need to start paying body rent.